Breaking News! The War in Iraq is ending. Insurgents are calling it quits.
Beaten down by coalition forces (primarily US and British forces) and world public opinion, Al Qaeda's Abu Musab al-Zarqawi and most of the major insurgents are surrendering their arms and calling for a truce.
Sources say the unexpected turn-around has been attributed to the formally spineless left wing of the democratic party in the United States, who's admitted agenda has been their hatred for President Bush and the total lack of support for the men and women who have fought this war against terrorism in the middle east. That has changed.
Sources say that the change of heart/mind originated from the relationship of both partys of congress last month when Nancy Pelosi and Dennis Hassert were caught holding hands on an issue. It can now be said that the "Jefferson Bribe" has led to the full support of our armed forces on the war on terrorism. The sudden change and full support led to the sane leaders of the world to put the shameful and indiscriminate murder of innocent women and children by suicidal/homicidal terrorist in prespective.
Sources also said that movie director Micheal Moore said the outright filming of actual body parts of men,women, and children torn apart by the senseless and indiscriminate bombings contributed to the world opinion that the terrorist had no ground to stand on. Moore said the relationship between Hassert and Pelosi moved him so much, he put aside his outright hatred for George Bush and decided to film the carnage.
Other sources say that the decision of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors to give their unanimous support to the war on terrorism, (and to approve putting President Bush's bust on Mt. Rushmore), also contributed to the change of world opinion.
My sources also say that the letter/email sent by Markos (of the DailyKos)to Vice President Richard Cheney that he could not stand by and let one more of our military people be murdered by the Islamofascist killers of the innocent, he was willing to set aside his personal feelings for our leadership and give his full support to the war against Al Qaeda , Osama bin Laden , al-Zarqawi, et al.
The left wing of the blogosphere followed Marko's lead and contributed to the downfall of the insurgents.
All of this because two people decided to hold hands on an issue they felt was more important than their party affiliation. And that issue led to further talks about how to end the war on terrorism.
History may not be so kind to the "incident" called "Jefferson-Gate". But good things do come out of tragedies. To think a tiny nation in Africa (that needed to "nud$e" a congressman) that led to a temporary stability and sane awakening in the world is just beyond comprehension.
Now we can bring our troops home with pride.
God Bless America
In other news, oil prices dropped to a five year low, hitting $32.50/barrel as OPEC decided their days were also numbered. With full congessional support for a ten year plan to end dependency on petroleum products, most of the oil producing nations have decided to produce as much of the product as possible before they begin capping their wells. Venezuela and Iran hardest hit by the down-turn.
Bin Laden has assumed room temperature.
Do I really have to call this a satire?