Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Newsweek up for Sale

Offers Tendered for Newsweek

This reporter has just received information from two unidentified (anonymous, unimpeachable) sources that the National Enquirer and the Star (supermarket tabloids) have entered into a bidding war for the purchase of Newsweek Magazine. One of the sources was said to have obtained a copy of an internal memo from the Enquirer that they had planned to sue Newsweek for copyright infringements, but some board members had decided it would be cheaper to purchase the Magazine and locate it to the right of the Mother of all Tabloids on the shelf. Other board members insisted it be located to the "left". My source has now informed me that it was finally decided to place Newsweek directly beneath the Enquirer because of Newsweek's ability to catch (report) excrements falling from the Mother Tabloid. Another source has informed me that they also intend to change Newsweek's print stock to a recyclable (flushable) material in the interest of protecting the environment..........developing

Posted by Rovin http://rovinsworld.blogspot.com/

UPDATE: My sources have now informed me that CBS (the parent company) has insisted that the sale of Newsweek may not be reliable, unless the entire editorial staff be included in the deal.

correction: CBS is not the parent company of Newsweek. Silly me, what was I thinking? The Washington Post is the parent company. Or is it the NY Times? No LA Times. I'll have to check my "sources" and git back to ya. :)

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